Hebrews 13:5.
Seeing a ghost is the closest thing I can say to describe what I felt leaving the place.
I got to work early one day and decided to walk around the downtown area before heading in. Many a fooding trip has lead me to a good chunk of the eateries on the block, but this time around I ventured into a strip of the downtown I haven't been to in years.
In doing so, I pass by a restaurant where I spent more than my fair share of weekends of my formative years. Countless hours were spent in this tiny place that my aunt used to work at on weekends.
Fast forward to present day, the joint is as empty and abandoned as imaginable. Upon peering into the place through the front door I noticed the ceiling falling apart and debris scattered here and there. Looking further, I could see the pick-up window, the only recognizable remnant of years past. I also spied the stickers that most establishments post to gently remind folks of the legal drinking age. 1983. Meaning 2004 was the last time business was done there.
9 years. It appeared whatever business was there last, went under and never looked back. Another unsettling assumption is that no other business has tried or dared to do something with the place. The apparent disrepair and neglect was, however erroneous the assumption, enough proof for me. This sudden realization gave me chills. In turn, the vibe of desolation it gave off made me feel all kinds of bewildered.
Given a lot of business fail but, what happened? But more nagging, why? There might have been a simple explanation for the vacant building, but I think what was unsettling was that it was on such a busy part of town.
Riding on how overtly maudlin and maybe too much of stretch, it reminds me of how people are the same way. Once sprawling and full of life. Then it was met with a hardship. Now it's empty on the inside and unable to bounce back. It's scary that folks end up like this, but a hard matter of the fact is, sometimes they do. The question now then is, how do we bounce back?
I pray that I'd be able to, however rough the waters.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Thursday, February 28, 2013
my flesh and my heart
"The brain decays but muscle memory remains."
Spoken about a patient with dementia while they played the piano. While playing the piece from motor memory, the elderly patient believed she was practicing for an audition with Juilliard.
Although this is a fictional account from one of my favorite television shows, this was the saddest thing I'd heard all week. To think that in life, whether it be real life or imagined, dementia robs countless people of memories.
The very moments that define us as people can disappear into nothingness at the hands of such a heinous condition. It pains me to think that it could happen to anybody near and dear to me, myself included.
If this terrible inevitable should occur to me, I hope that I remember this.
Psalm 73:26.
Spoken about a patient with dementia while they played the piano. While playing the piece from motor memory, the elderly patient believed she was practicing for an audition with Juilliard.
Although this is a fictional account from one of my favorite television shows, this was the saddest thing I'd heard all week. To think that in life, whether it be real life or imagined, dementia robs countless people of memories.
The very moments that define us as people can disappear into nothingness at the hands of such a heinous condition. It pains me to think that it could happen to anybody near and dear to me, myself included.
If this terrible inevitable should occur to me, I hope that I remember this.
Psalm 73:26.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
life in excess
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
Matthew 6:19-20.
Sometime ago, my cousin told me about a house up for auction around the neighborhood she worked in and wanted me to go along with her to take a look.
I'm not in the market for one, but it couldn't hurt to look, right?
Man, was I wrong. As I followed the arrows that pointed me towards this house, each house that we passed on the way to the mystery house seemed bigger and grander than the last. I don't know why, but it pained me to think about how much each of these houses might have cost. After much heartbreak later, the white whale was spotted.
This white house was all kinds of something. Think of every synonym for the word "ridiculous" and use it on this house. From the looks of it, the house had a very 80s-esque feel to it, inside and out.
First things first; Ocean. Front. Property. Moby Dick had white carpet. EVERYWHERE. 4 bedrooms. A land line telephone connection in each of its 6 full bathrooms. 2 laundry rooms. In-home gym. An office space. Two entertainment/game rooms. In-home hot tub. A gazebo/cook out area. AND a pier to a boat house with a BOAT!
Altogether it was 3 floors worth of a labyrinth disguised as a house. After wandering this contraption, 2 thoughts came to mind; This place was too much and what did this guy do for his house to be put up for auction?
By the time that this entry has been posted, the house should have gone to the highest bidder. Whether it was sold/bought or not, even now I still can't get over the excessive nature of the leviathan.
But, why all that house? Yes, I've dreamt of living in a big house myself, but the voice inside my head was screaming: This is TOO MUCH! How many hours and money was spent on this house? How many people were lied to, cheated on, and I daresay robbed to get it? I realize I'm being excessive in writing such hater-like statements BUT, as I continue on my high horse...To put so much time, money, and effort in keeping this house leads me to think about what kind of void was the owner(s) trying to fill?
Given, we all have voids we try to fill. Some folks have more resources in attempts to fill it. Others spend their whole lives finding ways to do it. Countless others have died trying in vain to accomplish it.
After encountering this house, I've begun to question once again what void am I trying to fill? At what costs will I take to do it? Time and time again, I've been told that only He can fill this void. Time and time again, He has done so on my behalf. However, for whatever reason, I still feel a void.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 comes to mind every time I think about this void, and I believe it is these words and this very reason why I'm still seeking something to fill me infinitely. Hopefully and waiting ever so impatiently that when I see my Maker that this void will be no more.
Matthew 6:19-20.
Sometime ago, my cousin told me about a house up for auction around the neighborhood she worked in and wanted me to go along with her to take a look.
I'm not in the market for one, but it couldn't hurt to look, right?
Man, was I wrong. As I followed the arrows that pointed me towards this house, each house that we passed on the way to the mystery house seemed bigger and grander than the last. I don't know why, but it pained me to think about how much each of these houses might have cost. After much heartbreak later, the white whale was spotted.
This white house was all kinds of something. Think of every synonym for the word "ridiculous" and use it on this house. From the looks of it, the house had a very 80s-esque feel to it, inside and out.
First things first; Ocean. Front. Property. Moby Dick had white carpet. EVERYWHERE. 4 bedrooms. A land line telephone connection in each of its 6 full bathrooms. 2 laundry rooms. In-home gym. An office space. Two entertainment/game rooms. In-home hot tub. A gazebo/cook out area. AND a pier to a boat house with a BOAT!
Altogether it was 3 floors worth of a labyrinth disguised as a house. After wandering this contraption, 2 thoughts came to mind; This place was too much and what did this guy do for his house to be put up for auction?
By the time that this entry has been posted, the house should have gone to the highest bidder. Whether it was sold/bought or not, even now I still can't get over the excessive nature of the leviathan.
But, why all that house? Yes, I've dreamt of living in a big house myself, but the voice inside my head was screaming: This is TOO MUCH! How many hours and money was spent on this house? How many people were lied to, cheated on, and I daresay robbed to get it? I realize I'm being excessive in writing such hater-like statements BUT, as I continue on my high horse...To put so much time, money, and effort in keeping this house leads me to think about what kind of void was the owner(s) trying to fill?
Given, we all have voids we try to fill. Some folks have more resources in attempts to fill it. Others spend their whole lives finding ways to do it. Countless others have died trying in vain to accomplish it.
After encountering this house, I've begun to question once again what void am I trying to fill? At what costs will I take to do it? Time and time again, I've been told that only He can fill this void. Time and time again, He has done so on my behalf. However, for whatever reason, I still feel a void.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 comes to mind every time I think about this void, and I believe it is these words and this very reason why I'm still seeking something to fill me infinitely. Hopefully and waiting ever so impatiently that when I see my Maker that this void will be no more.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2013
It's here.
Like most people in the world, I always anticipate what kind of something will happen this year. Yes, you read that right.
Happy New Year!
Like most people in the world, I always anticipate what kind of something will happen this year. Yes, you read that right.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
triumph of the ages
Isaiah 9:6.
Luke 23:38-43.
Revelation 19:11-18.
Among other things, Christmas wouldn't be complete if I didn't hear from Tchaikovsky, Snoopy, and José Feliciano.
To sing a slightly different tune, here's a paraphrase of some lines from some of my favorite hymns...
Joining the triumph of the skies in giving praise to the One who freed us from Satan’s tyranny.
Here's to the birth that conquered death and afforded us life everlasting.
Merry Christmas!!!
Luke 23:38-43.
Revelation 19:11-18.
Among other things, Christmas wouldn't be complete if I didn't hear from Tchaikovsky, Snoopy, and José Feliciano.
To sing a slightly different tune, here's a paraphrase of some lines from some of my favorite hymns...
Joining the triumph of the skies in giving praise to the One who freed us from Satan’s tyranny.
Here's to the birth that conquered death and afforded us life everlasting.
Merry Christmas!!!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
A privilege, to say the least
Romans 13:1-7.
Forget Halloween, November is the month when one should be afraid. For whatever reason everything politically motivated happens in this month. More so if you're talking about politics of the West. I suspect it has to do with weather. EVERYTHING changes because of it. Think about it!
For the longest time, I never really cared who ran this or that because I selfishly thought, if it didn't directly affect me it wasn't my concern. But as early as I can remember folks have been telling me to vote. To participating in a mock election for the state senators in the first grade to the note that my APUSH teacher wrote in my senior yearbook about voting, I've seen my fair share of getting out the vote.
The older I get, the more I "understand" that the whole pandemonium behind these partisan politics is for good reason. I hear and read more and more stories and instances of folks not being able to or be allowed to vote. On the surface, it's not a big deal, but to echo the educators who've instructed me to do likewise, it kind of REALLY is a big deal. The old argument still stands; people have fought and died for us regular folks for the very right to vote. The least we can do to honor their sacrifice is to exercise the very privilege they suffered horrors for, spoken and unspoken.
Although one may be turned off by all the partisan bickering and the arguing over who knows how to do this or that best, I've realized that when all is said and done it brings me hope to know that all this is for a deep seated love for one's country. Anyone brave enough and strong enough to do this day in and day out AND not lose sight of this love is OK in my book.
On another note, I can gloat over the fact that I just happen to have voted in a swing state this year.
Regardless of who wins this or that, remember that He was in charge, is still in charge, and will continue to do so, world without end.
Forget Halloween, November is the month when one should be afraid. For whatever reason everything politically motivated happens in this month. More so if you're talking about politics of the West. I suspect it has to do with weather. EVERYTHING changes because of it. Think about it!
For the longest time, I never really cared who ran this or that because I selfishly thought, if it didn't directly affect me it wasn't my concern. But as early as I can remember folks have been telling me to vote. To participating in a mock election for the state senators in the first grade to the note that my APUSH teacher wrote in my senior yearbook about voting, I've seen my fair share of getting out the vote.
The older I get, the more I "understand" that the whole pandemonium behind these partisan politics is for good reason. I hear and read more and more stories and instances of folks not being able to or be allowed to vote. On the surface, it's not a big deal, but to echo the educators who've instructed me to do likewise, it kind of REALLY is a big deal. The old argument still stands; people have fought and died for us regular folks for the very right to vote. The least we can do to honor their sacrifice is to exercise the very privilege they suffered horrors for, spoken and unspoken.
Although one may be turned off by all the partisan bickering and the arguing over who knows how to do this or that best, I've realized that when all is said and done it brings me hope to know that all this is for a deep seated love for one's country. Anyone brave enough and strong enough to do this day in and day out AND not lose sight of this love is OK in my book.
On another note, I can gloat over the fact that I just happen to have voted in a swing state this year.
Regardless of who wins this or that, remember that He was in charge, is still in charge, and will continue to do so, world without end.
Monday, October 15, 2012
tears shed in church (ii)
On my way to my many rendezvous with said folk, I stopped over by the Chapel.
I just happened to cross its path on the way to the Corner and it seemed to beckon me in with its wide opened door.
Visits to the Chapel occurred more times in my 4th Year than all my 4 years at the Grape. A lot of times it was just to sit and pray. Yes, He is everywhere, but in the crazy mess that is my mind I feel closer to Him in one of His houses.
2 years later, that day was still no exception. As I entered and sat down in the back row, I noticed I wasn't alone.
Way up front was a girl deep in prayer. I never once saw her face, but her gestures spoke volumes.
The Chapel is generally a very solemn and empty place, so it's pretty obvious when one sees a soul in there. But not once did she turn her head around to see who had come in.
I couldn't help but look a little. Why didn't she look up? Not that I was seeking attention but I would have if somebody came in. This girl was DEEP in prayer. The frequent shifting about in her seat, the occasional creaking of the pew she sat in, and her head always bowed down. After I finished my prayers, I sent some prayers her way and left.
Whether she cried or not, I don't know but it reminds me of a quote I've written about before:
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
- Plato
Paul also wrote something similar:
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
- Galatians 6:2Let's be mindful and remember to do so.
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